Dear Cigarettes,
I hate you. You make me want to vomit. We've been together a long time but now I feel our relationship has become unhealthy. And so I am writing to you now because I want nothing more to do with you.
I can't afford to have you around anymore. We've shared plenty of good times; at the beach, at work, at home and abroad. You made me forget my worst times as well. But now I've wound up broke and alone while you still enjoy the company of countless others.
I didn't ask for or anticipate you to be part of my world, and now I must deal with you in my own terms. I don't usually write letters to inanimate objects, but I feel I know you personally, and have few other untried solutions available. It seems like we have all the same friends.
Please don't bother returning any sort of response, in fact consider this the last time I indulge in selfish expression with you. There is a life I must live and I'm sure you'll get along just fine without me.
Sincerely,
Matthew
P.S. Tell Marijuana I said high
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