safe

There's a good chance we won't remember any of this. We have to take care of ourselves, this is our only chance. We know what we have to do to survive, and we must do it, no more waiting. I, personally, want to live, at my own expense as well as any other's. I want to add to our collective dream, to share my voice and my hands. I want to destroy fear and I want to do it by being a burning example.
I want to be protected, to find virtue in my investment. I want to use my resource to that inevitable end, to the best of our ability, to fulfill my purpose in this network of networks. I want to pull little white strings attached to looming shadows of luxurious ambition. I want to calm down.
I am here, in the only world we have and will ever know, just you and me. This is the only time we exist, disregarding when we may and might. I am on a tangent, secured by you, and as much as I wish you were here right now, aren't you? I hope you take it far more personally than I intend, for the sake of your strength, of your dream, because Im a manipulative manipulative person seeking attention affection or dissection, how am I any different.
I want to help my friends. I want them to know they're okay and I wish I could be there for all of them. Thank you internet, I hope Im using you well, as those who came before us surely dreamed about.
I know I may seem confusing because I don't really know you. You might hate me or understand me or maybe you can't read this and the black on white is simply beautiful or ugly or so much more than that. Maybe you're sitting in a car three blocks away. This world was made for us and please understand I just dont get it, but if I do I immediately give it away for cheap or free. I'm somewhere between the hedonist paradox and the prophet's dilemma. call me, crazy baby.