Wednesday, May 13, 2026

Other Side


The fluorescent lights cast a warm, soft glow inside Room 2B.
A single plastic ficus stood neatly in the corner.
Six participants sat comfortably around a sleek conference table.
The moderator wore a perfectly tailored slate-gray tie.
He had not provided a name, maintaining a professional distance.
He clicked his ballpoint pen twice to signal the start.
"Let's review the physical sensations of Somnium-9," he said evenly.
A woman in a yellow cardigan raised her hand with a calm smile.
"My chronic migraines completely vanished," she noted.
"My fingertips feel entirely numb, but it is quite peaceful."
A man in a rumpled suit nodded in agreement.
"The same happened to me, along with a mild aftertaste," he added.
"Like pennies and burnt copper, though it isn't unpleasant."
A college student relaxed back into her chair.
"I feel incredibly light, almost weightless," she murmured.
"Like my feet aren't even pressing against the carpet."
The nameless man stepped calmly to the wall.
He uncapped a black dry-erase marker.
With a fluid, practiced motion, he began to write.
The letters flowed flawlessly from right to left.
ssenbmuN appeared cleanly on the surface.
The woman in the yellow cardigan looked at the text, curious.
"Why are you writing backward?" she asked politely.
"And I realized we never caught your name during introductions."
The moderator kept his back to the group, his posture serene.
He wrote another mirrored word: etsaT reppoC.
"Names are for things that can be born," he replied smoothly.
"Names are for things that can eventually die."
"The drug alters your perception of reality," the nameless man added.
"Tell me about your last memory before waking up here."
The room temperature settled into a perfectly still, neutral cool.
"I took the pill in my bedroom," the woman recalled easily.
"Then my vision simply faded into quiet white static."
"I took it in my parked car," the businessman said, his voice level.
"My chest tightened, and my car horn started blaring."
"I swallowed three pills," the student shared, looking down.
"My heart rate monitor spiked, and then everything went silent."
The rumpled businessman adjusted his posture at the table.
"This is an orderly corporate wrap-up," he observed.
"Look at the text on the wall."
The entire room they sat in was perfectly reversed.
The wedding ring on the businessman's hand was missing.
The pocket on his suit coat had switched sides.
They all looked down at their resting, bloodless hands.
No one in the room felt the need to take a breath.
The wall clock remained perfectly still at 4:14 PM.
The college student pointed toward the exit without panic.
"The door handle is on the wrong side," she pointed out.
The moderator turned around very slowly.
He adjusted his tie with perfectly inverted hands.
He wrote one final mirrored phrase across the center.
eniltalF muinmoS.
The wall shifted from a corporate gray to a deep, steady crimson.
The word ssenbmuN began to dissolve into thin wisps of smoke.
"You didn't survive the trial," the nameless man explained gently.
His eyes held the quiet, glowing depth of an ancient hearth.
"Welcome to evaluation. You all took far too much."

Monday, February 9, 2026

How To Cut A Pizza

The first question I ask is how many degrees are in a circle?
The correct answer is, of course, three hundred and sixty.
Now, the next question I ask is, what is 360 divided by 6?
(Six being the number of slices in a standard slice pie, a pizza
designed 
to be sold by the slice.) The correct answer this time
happens to be 60, naturally, and which also happens to be the
number of degrees in one corner of an equilateral triangle. 
Taking
this knowledge, and then, considering the universally
transferable adage of measure twice, cut once, and with the 
assumption that the pizza you are dealing with is as perfectly 
round as can be, select a point on the crust from where across
the rest of the pizza and to the opposite point you can detect
a sort of symmetry that you would like to emphasize and
compartmentalize. Now find the center point of the pizza. 
Firmly break through the crust with the blade, and, with some
downward force, draw the blade across the surface of the
pizza, through the center point and across to the antipodal
point of selection, again breaking through firmly the crust.
Turn the pizza 60 degrees and repeat the same cutting action, 
resulting now in 2 opposing 60 degree angles and 2 opposing
120 degree angles, or what I like to call, god's bow tie. And now, 
turn the pizza for the second time, and cut for the third, as accur-
ately through the middle of the pie as possible. With practice, of
course, you will gain accuracy, as well as speed. You can now
also practice the number of resulting slices by adjusting the size
of the angles. Bon Mathématiques!

Saturday, January 10, 2026

To Donald Trump (comment via Whitehouse.gov/contact)

 Dear Mr . President,


I am an avid follower of your work. The things you have done to and for our country are certainly unprecedented, as only the strategy of a keen eye from a brilliant businessman can offer. I myself can and do also see ways that we can improve our nation, though those ways have more to do with making us greater in ways never before considered possible rather than those that would provide more of the same. I don't think it's too late for anyone to experience an healthy change of heart and mind, which you, sir, with utmost respect, seem to be long overdue for.

Life is not about any one thing, especially not something as mundane as making as much money as possible, which from all angles is how I inevitably see you. I only hope you can convince me otherwise; I can't imagine you doing a single charitable act for anyone, without concentrating on your bottom line.

I admit, I am an addict, and so I struggle with my own. I am happy enough when I find myself breaking even in the week leading up to payday. This isn't an underhanded asking of handouts by the way; just letting you know of the disparity, the people who still count pennies when you certainly couldn't be bothered.

I've recently deactivated my social media in the wake of the killing of Renee Nicole Good. I have said what I have needed to say, for better or worse, in all accounts, and now that book for me is closed, I am now considering physical media and in-person contact to be fundamentally crucial to my well being. Anything without a digital footprint. I am writing to you here, now, because it is of course the best way.

I didn't plan on writing this either. But everything seems to be coming to a head, y'know? 

I hope you're doing well. Let me know if there's anything I can do. I am willing and would be happy to help.


Truly,

MathYou