Friday, November 9, 2012

ACCIDENTAL DISSAPOINTMENT

No Holds Barred
      Tell me about practicing in a sterile environment, if one may become anything truly different and applicable. Make clear to me the absence of the choices I really care about, Have I found myself wayward?
      The internet keeps us from being in all places at one time. I cant remember what was in place before this inhibition, but you and I have certainly always had our differences. The world is getting smaller as the population expands at an accelerated rate.
      Fear and laziness may be the winning combination of nonviolence. This world may blink out of sight in a moment. Others live on, give us hope in this vicarious gestation. A moment of discomfort cannot last forever. The horizons must be broken.
      Impoverished minds are waking up. I was handed every advantage along with every disadvantage. Everything I know is right before me, and all that is left is inevitably wrong.
      Way too many people are dying from preventable causes. Love your mother, do everything in her memory and honor. Greed and miscommunication: unnecessary death. Dont we know that we are understood and provided for; we dont need to worry about anything, everything, something or nothing. We simply neednt worry. It is the only waste of time. Dont forget who you are, that you are in control and this is what you have chosen. Use it to become who you next want to be.
      They should have to go through it because I did, because how could there be any other way? The basis of all agenda.
      Im standing in front of my 900 degree oven, watching a live performance mesh with the back bar noise and enhance the Olympics simultaneously projected above. This could be Hell if I wasnt Satan. Hell hath no flame.
      They come up to me often to ask me stupid questions, usually wheres the bathroom or do you sell slices. They are stupid for opposing reasons, our price and item availabilities being clearly and readily listed, while our bathroom location is not. Our bad for making them feel dumb, but they could have asked someone else.
      It seems the only way I may save my money is to think of the things I need, to need the things I think.
      Buckle down, save everything.
      Expire quickly, be fresh.
      Live your own life, both of them.
      We dont share your opinion,
      we only share ours.
      I was loathing coming in here today moments before I actually did. I know death is near because of how Ive been consistently practicing desensitization, I dont know its happening while it does. There is no reason for us to be afraid of each other, it just happens that were here together because its what we have in common.
      Im no great pizza cook or musician because I want to be. If I am any I must be all, and at the moment I seem to only be a writer, a left-handed one at that.
      Im not wasting my time even though Ive been here before, these seem and feel like new choices, the lines are the same but they draw different shapes based on the patterns that have already been outlined countless times before.
SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE at the beginning of time. . .
      I have three mothers and each of them have a bitterness in their heart for me. I remember their names and what they look like. Their offspring I have reabsorbed, and now the world has never known such evil, and it will continue in this way. The birth of a bodyless form, the hermaphroditic spirit, that I may appreciate as master and not any sort of my own creation. I remain bound to this world, but now we work together to correct future error, for this world has only one outcome, just as it began.
      I do not like myself, love myself or hate myself. I am myself inevitably all the time. The only problem is fed to me just before I stand up to reveal the solution. Its only a matter of time before I am rich and famous or dead, and then the other will soon follow. This world has nothing left to satisfy my desire. I must concentrate on the flame or it will never become summer again.
      I know what I do is excellent and anybody could do it, its just a matter of time and place. And I could further devote myself to this cause in a much more obvious way, but I dont want to own the place, I just want to be money wherever I am.
      I caught a whiff of something I havent smelled since I worked at Twigs, something unidentifiable and unmistakable, something about restaurant anxiety: the knowledge that theres always something more to do as long as we are here.
      The money I make is an illusion. I realize this is somehow important information and my intended audience is only my future self.
      Im not at all guilty for the level of training I received to qualify me for working here. It was mutual, they exploited something they only thought they understood because how could they really begin to know what Ive gone through? I dont have plenty of paper all the time, where Im going or where Ive been.
1)  Eat something
2)  Love everything
3)  Do anything
4)  Keep nothing
When the pupil is ready, the master appears.
Do your best, end in gest
Im not trying to argue with you, thats just sort of happening.
Ill come back before I leave.
      The downfall of my own dreams may be accredited to me, my body will be purged from gestation and I will be left to fend for myself, turning the world with my feet.
      Im only an alcoholic when Im on vacation. When I go back to Seattle on Monday its strict survival. I dont need to do anything to have a good time. I need to do nothing. And I certainly wont get tied down here. My only perspective is moving on.
Hard work, ITS HARDER TO DO SOMETHING ORIGINAL
Arguism, treasonable, in-body experience, hyperbolic guilt chamber, neurotic device (see light blue). At the corner of 3RD EYE/4TH WALL. Anthropologize anthropologies.
Exosuit with jet pack shoes, powered by self metabolized excess powerloss (piezoelectical). Every spare movement is captured in a recursive generator (gyroscopes)
Beautiful babies, are born every day, and old folks go, to die in the same way, suddenly, the path befores, the past behind. Contradict, contracept. All geometry is sacred.
Life is what happens while youre waiting for life to happen.
Throwing [to stretch a pizza dough] is a sin.
Im not evil, Im just up to no good.
The patterns in Saturn, my brother the war god, and my journey to a distant star
Im frying the biggest fish there is, because if he doesnt exist, than neither do I
Silver on the surface of mars
Why do they tell mothers not to let their babies grow up to be cowboys? (what is a cowboy)
How much of each organ does an organism need to survive? (what defines survival)
APPARENTLY BEING HIGH IN PUBLIC IS NEVER A PROBLEM
i have the sneaking, suspicion I was lied to, and now I dont know, who I am, life as a painting, and Ive flown, like tie times, Im a manager, a leader, of my own cold sould
what is is, never what it should be
you dont know what you do
my deepest fears, coming true, every day
in old age, Im allowed to be elusive, in youth, my questions inconclusive
and now, this is all I am, expanding the parabola, exploring limitation
They should only eat, if they are the, last of their kind. Evil should mean famine.
Self guiding, systems are of, no real, consequence
Trilogy: if the past is children, and the future is travel, then the present is music
We must break before we refuse
The only difference between now and then is that, I believe in now.
Prematurely born, _________ dead.
Im a cross section, a distraction.
They will make damn well sure, to take damn good care
My car has an ashtray, and a CD player and is, parked in the driveway, I dont see the correlation, I dont have a reason to leave, the windows are down, the A/C is on, the sun roof is a moon roof
Parabolic affliction, invisible guilt chamber
Legal drugs keep good men down, in the dirt, underground, where none is seen or heard or felt, and to face the light is to blind and melt
Conflagration- a big destructive fire
Taking advantage, of each other, finding romance in, one another, believing real love, is blind, cant feel the things, you left behind. She was a machine for the details. Thelessness. Inference is assumption. Everything happens for a reason, nothing good happens by accident. The Chasmos. Grey magic. Breaking news. Accidence. May I not forget my place among the human race.
Considering a set of stairs, 3 places to be:
·         ABOVE
·         BELOW
or
·         UPON

It didnt take a long time to walk a short dock
I care about things and some people. Everything has its purpose and some use those things to their best extent.
      I am wasting my time, in a world of mutual time wasting. Every move I try to make is blocked in inevitable reciprocation. I couldnt manipulate myself out of a paper bag without finding myself in a plastic one.
      I am impatient in my futility. I want to get these failures overwith already so I may have my dreams come true.
      No one understands, nobody listens and it all goes nowhere. Dont take it personally, but we may as well be no one, or anyone, everyone, someone. I can do anything. This is where it all happens. Stop wasting time, corrupting your chance. Enjoy yourself and your not self for what they are and what they do for us.
      She is beautiful, that much is not beyond me. I am not afraid of that.
      This is no tragedy. Its fucking hilarious. Time heals all wounds it provides. Nothing would be possible without nothing. I dont trust what I look like and my biology. I could be figuring myself out some other way but this is the action of my collected action, my subconscious adaptation based on what has worked for me so far. I have a shell. And a switch for that shell. The more I expose myself, the more I must hide.
      Can you hide me? Im not exactly sure who it is that is after me.
I had a dream about the police and awoke pleasantly to a cup of coffee in my face. Do you take anything in your coffee besides chocolate chip cookies?
      Do your due, Im terrified of prison, enjoy life while you can, exploit what you understand.
      Dont you know your killing your poor mother with that foolish behaviour? Yes, I do, and so allowing my rich one to live, the one she didnt know existed, with subjugates and luxuries.
      I AM ABSORBED BY THE WORLD, IVE FORGOTTEN who I am. Time and time again. I expect the unexpected, At the most inopportune time, I hold it in, Save it for a later date, a hot one, that goes nowhere
      I dont need anything, which is sort of like saying I need nothing. I dont necessarily need less than I have, but I also cant justify having any more. I know the world, Ive lived here my whole life, I know that expectation can make me miserable but without a plan Im going nowhere.
      Food and sex are not inevitable parts of perception. Of life and death, but existence may be without them. Every thing we think we need we do, but that does not mean these things are constantly or consistently necessary.
      We are champions of light, tourists of the underworld. The only thing we all have in common, its better than we thought it would be.
      No such thing as a free lunch. Theres only one thief; everyone else is just trying to get their shit back.” –Old Army saying
      I heard a horror story of a drug that, with just one well placed whiff, the consumer loses all free will and self control. A couple days later they awake in a park, go to their apartment only to find it empty, their landlord explaining the resident came with a truck and mysterious people to move out immediately, their belongings never to be seen again.
      A great spirit will always find opposition in lesser minds.
      I admit Ive been harboring terrorists, using my first person creativity towards affirmative action and understanding. I know we all do our best. Its not the person I dont trust. it   s the drug.
      A: A quiet mouth dont get fed B: . . . but a quiet mouth aint hungry.
Welcome to victimhood, population: YOU.
      I cant believe it happened to me, and what kind of prevention exists in a world made of inhibition and filters? We still have our intuition, our bad feelings and our gut reaction.
Secrets are trouble, lies are problems
      Last night the world was ending, it looked much like today, bright and blue. A bridge fell on my leg and a building. My world was falling as it tried to destroy me. I woke before it was over.
I realized the worst way to possibly die is to be a hamster flushed down a toilet. It starts out bad and gets worse and worse even though it doesnt really go anywhere.














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