Car Destroyer

            I can’t tell you why I do it, not to cause suffering for I by no means tolerate evil, and I have cleansed my trail of destruction long ago. It is a struggle against civilization for a simpler time, the thriving organism that senselessly consumes, turning our neighbour’s dream to a heaping wreck.

            One man’s trash is certainly another man’s treasure and we are living with a distribution problem, a growth on our neck. Veins of ceaseless dumpsters flow like plates through my mind, killing all hope of serenity. It is no wonder I no longer associate with those who drive vehicles.

            My father was a postal carrier, driving from neighbourhood to another, walking from house to house. He died in a car accident on his day off: Christmas Day, bringing packages to our home from our grandmother’s house. He always complained that he didn’t think the holiday should mean personally a vacation.

            I ‘ve wasted a lot of time doing what I thought was right at the expense of what I know is right. They taught me to be somebody and at face value it is now my duty and responsibility to question and rebel, for the sake of universal continuity.

            I know mother earth has not and will not provide the means for machines forever. We need machines because we want it otherwise, easier, faster, more efficient and then more comfortable. We better our world and discount our own involvement and power, disregard the ripple effect we might have over each other’s lives. Now it is time to put an end to our misplaced toils, so our paradise may green over once again, so animals may roam free without fear and in a far brighter future. The answer to the question is the byproduct of the whole problem, and the solution will remain.

ACCIDENTAL DISSAPOINTMENT

No Holds Barred

      Tell me about practicing in a sterile environment, if one may become anything truly different and applicable. Make clear to me the absence of the choices I really care about, Have I found myself wayward?

      The internet keeps us from being in all places at one time. I can’t remember what was in place before this inhibition, but you and I have certainly always had our differences. The world is getting smaller as the population expands at an accelerated rate.

      Fear and laziness may be the winning combination of nonviolence. This world may blink out of sight in a moment. Others live on, give us hope in this vicarious gestation. A moment of discomfort cannot last forever. The horizons must be broken.

      Impoverished minds are waking up. I was handed every advantage along with every disadvantage. Everything I know is right before me, and all that is left is inevitably wrong.

      Way too many people are dying from preventable causes. Love your mother, do everything in her memory and honor. Greed and miscommunication: unnecessary death. Don’t we know that we are understood and provided for; we don’t need to worry about anything, everything, something or nothing. We simply needn’t worry. It is the only waste of time. Don’t forget who you are, that you are in control and this is what you have chosen. Use it to become who you next want to be.

      “They should have to go through it because I did, because how could there be any other way?” The basis of all agenda.

      I’m standing in front of my 900 degree oven, watching a live performance mesh with the back bar noise and enhance the Olympics simultaneously projected above. This could be Hell if I wasn’t Satan. Hell hath no flame.

      They come up to me often to ask me stupid questions, usually “where’s the bathroom” or “do you sell slices.” They are stupid for opposing reasons, our price and item availabilities being clearly and readily listed, while our bathroom location is not. Our bad for making them feel dumb, but they could have asked someone else.

      It seems the only way I may save my money is to think of the things I need, to need the things I think.

      Buckle down, save everything.

      Expire quickly, be fresh.

      Live your own life, both of them.

      We don’t share your opinion,

      we only share ours.

      I was loathing coming in here today moments before I actually did. I know death is near because of how I’ve been consistently practicing desensitization, I don’t know it’s happening while it does. There is no reason for us to be afraid of each other, it just happens that we’re here together because it’s what we have in common.

      I’m no great pizza cook or musician because I want to be. If I am any I must be all, and at the moment I seem to only be a writer, a left-handed one at that.

      I’m not wasting my time even though I’ve been here before, these seem and feel like new choices, the lines are the same but they draw different shapes based on the patterns that have already been outlined countless times before.

SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE at the beginning of time. . .

      I have three mothers and each of them have a bitterness in their heart for me. I remember their names and what they look like. Their offspring I have reabsorbed, and now the world has never known such evil, and it will continue in this way. The birth of a bodyless form, the hermaphroditic spirit, that I may appreciate as master and not any sort of my own creation. I remain bound to this world, but now we work together to correct future error, for this world has only one outcome, just as it began.

      I do not like myself, love myself or hate myself. I am myself inevitably all the time. The only problem is fed to me just before I stand up to reveal the solution. It’s only a matter of time before I am rich and famous or dead, and then the other will soon follow. This world has nothing left to satisfy my desire. I must concentrate on the flame or it will never become summer again.

      I know what I do is excellent and anybody could do it, it’s just a matter of time and place. And I could further devote myself to this cause in a much more obvious way, but I don’t want to own the place, I just want to be money wherever I am.

      I caught a whiff of something I haven’t smelled since I worked at Twig’s, something unidentifiable and unmistakable, something about restaurant anxiety: the knowledge that there’s always something more to do as long as we are here.

      The money I make is an illusion. I realize this is somehow important information and my intended audience is only my future self.

      I’m not at all guilty for the level of training I received to qualify me for working here. It was mutual, they exploited something they only thought they understood because how could they really begin to know what I’ve gone through? I don’t have plenty of paper all the time, where I’m going or where I’ve been.

1)  Eat something

2)  Love everything

3)  Do anything

4)  Keep nothing

“When the pupil is ready, the master appears.”

Do your best, end in gest

“I’m not trying to argue with you, that’s just sort of happening.”

“I’ll come back before I leave.”

      The downfall of my own dreams may be accredited to me, my body will be purged from gestation and I will be left to fend for myself, turning the world with my feet.

      I’m only an alcoholic when I’m on vacation. When I go back to Seattle on Monday it’s strict survival. I don’t need to do anything to have a good time. I need to do nothing. And I certainly won’t get tied down here. My only perspective is moving on.

Hard work, ITS HARDER TO DO SOMETHING ORIGINAL

Arguism, treasonable, in-body experience, hyperbolic guilt chamber, neurotic device (see light blue). At the corner of 3^RD EYE/4^TH WALL. Anthropologize anthropologies.

Exosuit with jet pack shoes, powered by self metabolized excess powerloss (piezoelectical). Every spare movement is captured in a recursive generator (gyroscopes)

Beautiful babies, are born every day, and old folks go, to die in the same way, suddenly, the path before’s, the past behind. Contradict, contracept. All geometry is sacred.

“Life is what happens while you’re waiting for life to happen.”

“Throwing [to stretch a pizza dough] is a sin.”

I’m not evil, I’m just up to no good.

The patterns in Saturn, my brother the war god, and my journey to a distant star

I’m frying the biggest fish there is, because if he doesn’t exist, than neither do I

Silver on the surface of mars

Why do they tell mothers not to let their babies grow up to be cowboys? (what is a cowboy)

How much of each organ does an organism need to survive? (what defines survival)

APPARENTLY BEING HIGH IN PUBLIC IS NEVER A PROBLEM

i have the sneaking, suspicion I was lied to, and now I don’t know, who I am, life as a painting, and I’ve flown, like tie times, I’m a manager, a leader, of my own cold sould

what is is, never what it should be

you don’t know what you do

my deepest fears, coming true, every day

in old age, I’m allowed to be elusive, in youth, my questions inconclusive

and now, this is all I am, expanding the parabola, exploring limitation

They should only eat, if they are the, last of their kind. Evil should mean famine.

Self guiding, systems are of, no real, consequence

Trilogy: if the past is children, and the future is travel, then the present is music

We must break before we refuse

The only difference between now and then is that, I believe in now.

Prematurely born, _________ dead.

I’m a cross section, a distraction.

They will make damn well sure, to take damn good care

My car has an ashtray, and a CD player and is, parked in the driveway, I don’t see the correlation, I don’t have a reason to leave, the windows are down, the A/C is on, the sun roof is a moon roof

Parabolic affliction, invisible guilt chamber

Legal drugs keep good men down, in the dirt, underground, where none is seen or heard or felt, and to face the light is to blind and melt

Conflagration- a big destructive fire

Taking advantage, of each other, finding romance in, one another, believing real love, is blind, can’t feel the things, you left behind. She was a machine for the details. Thelessness. Inference is assumption. Everything happens for a reason, nothing good happens by accident. The Chasmos. Grey magic. Breaking news. Accidence. May I not forget my place among the human race.

Considering a set of stairs, 3 places to be:

·         ABOVE

·         BELOW

or

·         UPON

It didn’t take a long time to walk a short dock

I care about things and some people. Everything has its purpose and some use those things to their best extent.

      I am wasting my time, in a world of mutual time wasting. Every move I try to make is blocked in inevitable reciprocation. I couldn’t manipulate myself out of a paper bag without finding myself in a plastic one.

      I am impatient in my futility. I want to get these failures overwith already so I may have my dreams come true.

      No one understands, nobody listens and it all goes nowhere. Don’t take it personally, but we may as well be no one, or anyone, everyone, someone. I can do anything. This is where it all happens. Stop wasting time, corrupting your chance. Enjoy yourself and your not self for what they are and what they do for us.

      She is beautiful, that much is not beyond me. I am not afraid of that.

      This is no tragedy. It’s fucking hilarious. Time heals all wounds it provides. Nothing would be possible without nothing. I don’t trust what I look like and my biology. I could be figuring myself out some other way but this is the action of my collected action, my subconscious adaptation based on what has worked for me so far. I have a shell. And a switch for that shell. The more I expose myself, the more I must hide.

      “Can you hide me? I’m not exactly sure who it is that is after me.”

I had a dream about the police and awoke pleasantly to a cup of coffee in my face. “Do you take anything in your coffee besides chocolate chip cookies?”

      Do your due, I’m terrified of prison, enjoy life while you can, exploit what you understand.

      “Don’t you know your killing your poor mother with that foolish behaviour?” Yes, I do, and so allowing my rich one to live, the one she didn’t know existed, with subjugates and luxuries.

      I AM ABSORBED BY THE WORLD, I’VE FORGOTTEN who I am. Time and time again. I expect the unexpected, At the most inopportune time, I hold it in, Save it for a later date, a hot one, that goes nowhere

      I don’t need anything, which is sort of like saying I need nothing. I don’t necessarily need less than I have, but I also can’t justify having any more. I know the world, I’ve lived here my whole life, I know that expectation can make me miserable but without a plan I’m going nowhere.

      Food and sex are not inevitable parts of perception. Of life and death, but existence may be without them. Every thing we think we need we do, but that does not mean these things are constantly or consistently necessary.

      We are champions of light, tourists of the underworld. The only thing we all have in common, it’s better than we thought it would be.

      No such thing as a free lunch. “There’s only one thief; everyone else is just trying to get their shit back.” –Old Army saying

      I heard a horror story of a drug that, with just one well placed whiff, the consumer loses all free will and self control. A couple days later they awake in a park, go to their apartment only to find it empty, their landlord explaining the resident came with a truck and mysterious people to move out immediately, their belongings never to be seen again.

      “A great spirit will always find opposition in lesser minds.”

      I admit I’ve been harboring terrorists, using my first person creativity towards affirmative action and understanding. I know we all do our best. It’s not the person I don’t trust. it’   s the drug.

      A: “A quiet mouth don’t get fed” B: “. . . but a quiet mouth ain’t hungry.”

Welcome to victimhood, population: YOU.

      “I can’t believe it happened to me, and what kind of prevention exists in a world made of inhibition and filters? We still have our intuition, our bad feelings and our gut reaction.”

Secrets are trouble, lies are problems

      Last night the world was ending, it looked much like today, bright and blue. A bridge fell on my leg and a building. My world was falling as it tried to destroy me. I woke before it was over.

I realized the worst way to possibly die is to be a hamster flushed down a toilet. It starts out bad and gets worse and worse even though it doesn’t really go anywhere.

the booty call center, 2036 AD

     Everyone and their parents have a cell phone these days. Strangers on the street and in their car, sitting beside you, wondering where your phone is. What a magickal device, a portal to transport you to where you want to be from where you deserve to be. It's a very simple dichotomy, expensive, narcissistic, consuming, and in the end a complete waste of time, our own, our  neighbours', and that for which any tangible progress may be achieved.
     Yes we are falling into a tradition, one that will make it quite a cold winter for the phoneless. It's a great advantage, one that we don't understand and so may as well exploit the best we can. And we all find dissatisfaction in it on some level, just like with everything else. Why must I ruin it for everybody? I'm not, I'm just making a note of the score, as referee, discussing the certain ball in play. It is with a stroke of luck you have. Even handed such, someone must have believed in what you are doing.
     We used to have guns, horses, cigarettes, books, food drink and each other, now this? A platform of information electronically wired in the palm of our hands, to metaphysically project our desires upon our hearts and minds? What kind of sick Joke is this? Somebody's been watching too muchTV.
     Wouldn't you like to live without memory or fear? Wouldn't that be better for everybody? Do you see whats holding you back and how you would prefer to change your previous course now for that certain benefit?

Executive decision for mutual dreams

      Whoever heard of a water addiction, because it does nothing to enhance the experience. Sometimes that's all it takes, to get an edge over a hump. Damn those for letter worlds.
     It's funny because it's true. Same difference. We're living an american's dream, who wasn't realized until we are. Our spiral only gets better with time, and though the end of that is ever nearing, it still seems worth seeing past the darkness. We ultimately care for our own struggles, which only lose beyond us.
     Magic is overrated, a lost cause, in the name of effect. The tricks on us, the aged diseased and traumatized. Us comfortable in this nightmare of separation. We dont realize what we're losing, let alone that we're losing at all. It took patience to get here and we don't get them back.
     excuses are dead promises. Life is a glimpse of tomorrow

Consensual contextual

      I've been here before, in this place and choice. I remained, safe and sane until I was no longer needed. I only want to live in the sun with my friends, in cooperation of the inevitable. It got under my skin, the familiar abuse, and now a reminder of darker times, past and future. Our mother would be proud if she could only see that we've gotten better, stronger. But where is she? What planet was she granted? Inherited?
I'm not.changing anyone or anything, I am very particular of whom I effect and why. I haven't learned my lesson. My pain, my empire, it's all my fault. I do not want life because there is nothing else to want.
     As I write I do not have you in mind. I don't believe my own lies. This country was founded on tobacco, slaves and garbage, now without dreams we only see coping mechanisms. We've forgotten who we aren't and never will be, so who is left
     I've reached a level of maturity, unknowingly having raised my arm. I wanted to know what would happen if I agreed, if I'd become something better. This time, I'm working hard at everything I want to leave, so my more obvious void will be a welcoming model of success. My pursuit is for light, the absence of unknown threat and a reason to come back, to wake up and be well.
I keep fighting the good fight of unseen motivation, ghosts and legends, to be rembered as a catalyst for the possible world.
     Anything that cannot be shouted from a speeding car to another on the opposite direction is a waste of time, a distraction and an early grave.

Interview

Interview (thy rhyme intentional)

How will you be remembered? Did you try hard at everything you wanted to become? Did you find what you were looking for? Was there only one possible outcome? How long did it take you to realise where you needed to get and what you needed to get there? Was it all it was cracked up to be? Was it as interesting as fleeting? Were you constantly longing for something greater for you and your loving ones? Was it needless to say? Were you swept away? Did gravity take hold as you fell sideways? Were you taken care of? Did you feel it or did it take some time, some regret? Is it really over? Is it really going to end? Will it ever?

Scopolamine

The dream I remember, where everything makes sense and nothing happens. The only way this world is possible. I was conjured, manifested, like water or a devil.
Nothing is to be feared, so we may be taken care of. Outside, out of control, mysterious.
Significant meaning, inevitable coincidence. Death dance. Enjoy. Escape.
Man made, woman controlled. Looking with my hands for the power 

and with hers for the missing piece.
Consciousness is here, creation is now. I am weak as I psyche myself out. I change my world in hopes of better than the best.
I always forget the bell takes a toll when it rings. My life is lived as silence, no chance of Illness or forgiveness.
I was born with a number on my forearm. It is my age through all of time, the one I reach on a daily basis.