Glenfiddie

            It was on the bus that it was clear that we were on a field trip to Ireland, and apparently I had earned the favor of buying the big guy his choice of shot when we got there. I changed compartments, set down my large blank triangle box with a top and bottom on the far side table below the mirror, noted it was almost just noon and I was the first one there, indicated to the younger bartender which alcohol I wanted, which was more than 20 a shot, and continued to look at the beer selection. He set the two glasses of clear liquid upon the bar, the older mentioned double fisting but I said I was waiting for someone. First, bottles, then draft, I finally settled on Guiness, but when the older one opened a new bottle and started pouring we chanted “Beer, beer!” and I apologized. By then it was quite crowded.

            Suddenly I was outside behind bars with the rest of the boys and we spotted a comrade who was crying, witnessing a fight across the way. Rubber hats were in season, black and thick like tires, but ours were cracked and split, green around the edges. I climbed the wrought iron and walked the side, past desperate people of little attention. A broken doll. Fog and blue across the way. I was just a kid then. 

Daily Bread

     I used to joke that if I could make money doing this that I would become a millionaire. I knew I was only smoking the profits for I was folding an economy to which the door had already closed. I was not prepared to resign the few moral convictions which I possessed, but did it only have to be a matter of time before I knew my own true dark nature or could have I lived as a blind nomad on the backs of my equally blind neighbors? For the truth had become like manna from heaven, that we will all die and we don't really know where we come from because we do not really understand our connection to each other. Our blindness was not of that connection or to each other but for ourselves which we have fruitlessly frivolously and futily circumvented at our own expense, our own necessary sufferings remaining. We should have what we want as beings apart of this world and I have narrowed down the things holding me back to the very things themselves:
     1. University, 2. Heathens, 3. Cigarettes, 4. Mom, and 5. California
And thus I know who I truly am and all that it is which I should be saving for.

1. University
     I had been encouraged (groomed) from a very young age to go to college when I was older, and I had become duly separated in preparation to my knowledge atypical. I grew bored of it before they thought they knew what to do with me. They should have asked me instead of what I want to be when I grow up, what I want to do right now. I simply was left grappling the ultrapersonal conundrum of my overall performance, if my seemingly gifted aptitude really merited such focused enrichment.

2.
     Heathens are simply defined by me as anyone who works on sunday, which should be a day of rest. I too was guilty before I saw the beauty of a disciplined schedule atune to commercial behavior. Mysterious barriers may be discovered in respect to certain under-and-overlying systems, and if I'm wrong, then gangway to forged traditions.

3. Cigarettes
     we never really got along or enjoyed each others company or presence.

4. Mom

     She wants me to be safe so she may be without worry. I know her worrying is her job in life, which is why it is on this list of things to get past and not necessarily destroy. Which brings me to

5. California

     Mentioned in countless songs, fictionalized and idealized, where dreams are born and where dreamers go to die, California has a special place in my heart which I hope is only true for every American. Its as perfect as it can get which is good enough for me, and if being perfect all the time means getting boring once in a while, I'll take it, because this unpredictable lifestyle is getting out of hand. I know there are likeminded people there, those who consider it home and more migrants like me who want nothing more than warm rain, mild winters and blazing summers. I'm not trying to escape because I don't really have it all that bad, nothing to complain about, but I can't say I tried if I don't, but I can say I didn't try even if I do. Now I have it in writing, I'm 28 years old lying in a bed that isn't mine by myself with a flashlight in my mouth. I'm moving to California.

     

Posession, or the Secret Order of the Blue Chains

     You had probably heard of Mary Pink, because she had not been videotaped for her remarkable behavior.
     Her body had been recovered from a car accident in which she had been badly burned. Her identification was also practically destroyed, except for her first name and the first two letters of her last name. She happened to be wearing all pink when she was found.
     It was soon discovered that when she was touched that she would continue touching herself until stopped. She seemed to love having her hair stroked and petted.
     The people taking care of her did not want to share her secret with anyone, so they kept her at home and took care of her the best they could. Nobody came looking for her as if she never existed in the first place, as if the accident never had happened. As far as they could tell there hadn't been anyone else in the car and there were no other vehicles involved.
     She inevitably began to fall apart and her caretakers didn't know what to do. They gave her anything they thought she needed, including a whole new wardrobe in her favorite color.
     One morning one of them went to check on her and she was not in her room. They searched all over the house for her before they realized she was lying on the ground outside, under a tree in the shade in front of the house. They got her back inside as quickly as they could, carrying her gently, with one of her arms over one of their shoulders. From then on they kept the door locked when she was by herself.
     At that point they had to decide what to do with her because she could no longer stay there with them. They had documented her mystery the best they could. They continued to provoke her in front of a video camera but without a reaction, as if she was aware of what was happening. They didn't realize that it had been daylight outside every time they had tried, especially because the room they had been keeping her had no windows. She somehow knew though, and she was not obligated to fulfill their wishes.
     They decided finally to let her go, opening every door in the house and leaving it up to her. She yet remained for quite some time and the people taking care of her continued to fruitlessly record her.
     Then they saw her standing in the middle of the house in the middle of the night. One of them approached her, slowly, carefully, reached out and proceeded to lay their hand upon her. As soon as they did, she fell to the floor and did not get up again.

The Hyerarkhycal Expanse

Subdude, unclear
A work of fact, a matter of fiction
Preschool colours
When I see a problem, something
wrong, I do something about it,
like how the liberals in this
country are destroying everything
just about as fast as the conservatives
can rebuild it. See something
say somethings only a good policy
if you know who to talk to, and
thats completely contextual, and
relatively based on who youre actually
talking to, if anyone specific.
If it is of your mind to turn a
profit then you better stop reading
right now. If you desire to be
offended absorbed educated
or entertained then be quite
sure that you understand the
difference. I believe in you because
I have no choice beyond feeling
my own existence, where all good
ideas are already had and
plans are only of and for the future.
The Camera is a dotted line

SELF ANALYSIS FOR PROJECTED PROGRESS

1. What is your name?

2. Do you remember your childhood?

3. What is your favourite thing to do?

4. Do you regret getting out of bed this morning?

5. Where will you be tomorrow/5 yrs. from now?

6. How do you feel about this procedure compared to when you first heard of the program?

7. What do you want to do with the things you learn here?

8. Do you plan on continuing your education after this course?

9. What's the best way for you to learn something?

10. How much do you know about this subject?

11. What would you have liked to have accomplished at the end of this course?
(as if the course was freshly completed)

OUTSKIRTS

LOOKING BACK NOW, I'm not sure if we were leaving or driving in. I saw a solid set of lights and knew that it meant that this was happening right now. The sky was dark and grey and we were traveling on a straight line.
"Do you want to watch this or go back to the movie? That way I would have time for a nap." I knew she wanted to get some sleep because she was expecting company this afternoon even though it didn't look very nice out. The movie was fine I said, so she flipped it to a room within a room, the interior brightly lit and bustling with employees all minding their own business for a certain cause, a sort of split-level executive suite, and I knew I was not invited.
A robotic arm reached in through off-screen and ripped my fingernail out just above the kneecap. My skin and tendons began churning and receding and I thought out loud, "how is this ever supposed to heal?" She laughed like I was trying to be funny. The other one climbed my arm. The exposed flesh turned into a manuscript and fell out. She said no. I saw he was going for a bug and I said Get 'im. Then I recognized it, against the now extremely well lit walls, to be a Death's Heads Moth that was focused on me and my attention. The Cinnabites were here, in a form that I found myself having to explain. The flutter of wings followed me into the shadows where I found myself in recollection, pain, and fear, for the thing had almost followed me here.

Western Feelings

What do you do when you recognise evil?

That's what He said.

What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

It took me a lot to become a standup guy but now that I am I only travel sitting down.

What would cars look like if they ran on sugar?

Bruce Willis, John Wayne, and Humphrey Bogart walk into a bar.

Woman is a bad word.

I gave up on sex and drugs and rock and roll for pizza and beer and music.

Stinky Kid - Potato, Red Onion, Pineapple, Roasted Garlic, Jalapeno and Feta

Characters in movies don't change, much how people in dreams never learn.

Vanish in tranquility.

Enbarrassed Synpathetic.

Comprehension and recognition, inhibitive of complete thought.

The choice is yours, the decision is mine.

Note to self: Breakfast comes with butter.

Learned to make bread at church.

I never wanted one of these boxes.

It takes more energy to play quiet than to play loud.

My brother the felon.

The golden age of distraction.

Caramel Pulleys

Offroad Shopping Carts

Baptized and Chastized, Married and Buried.

Creamy tuna, shell pasta, and marshmallow sandwich with your choice of mayonaise or mustard swastika.

Rice dice and spice is nice with ice.

Demonic Posession/Mnevice
(9/10)

American Happiness

Spiders on the carpet and
shit on the deck
staying positive
without help

Public works in violent refrain
It takes a lot of time if you don't
know what it is

Fresh and Out

Bardo
I'm here to tell you
that when you leave
you will not stay

signs of struggle
eternal life

never sane ever
off the depend
often offended

I know what you mean
but its not what you say
this is all my fault

Babys First Million

What constitutes a song is timelessness and originality.

Mind State University

Fulfilling your problems is not quite the same as resonating in solution.

Chairs

I don't need your additional paranoia. (UNWarrANTED)

Teriatoan Moon

Tall Audience

Grape Culture

Tasteless, like water

Clience and Citizennes

Infectiousmile

Labored Bleeding

Manifest Density

Disney Conspiracy International

Indoctrinated Indisability

Omniconscious

IMPressions
circular file

DISOCIATIF

living in absentia
living in sanity

fulfilling your problems is not quite the same thing as resonating insolution.

Friends of the Anticondo

Preaching to aquire

Building a better bomb shelter

I don't have to spend money to make money for anyone else. I only have to spend money to make money for myself. Infinite money, unlimited cash.

Compatibility/Similarity
Matriarchial technology in
Reflex and Recoil
Passive Milk in Music
Pissed off at these
fucking blank walls

Salt and Pepper on the table
a Sexual Composition
Dysphageous Aural Health
A quired Indesposition
of course you love it or you
wouldn't do it every day
fuck it in your own way

I don't have to get mad because I am mad. There's blankets all over; you should move far away.

When a train zit pores
real time
fuck love
only just

mountain heat

It's all falling apart because it wasn't meant to last. You think you're in control but only because you're not.

entropy/the akashic records
The Decider/Spacehips
Realacks/Realaps
Archipeggiator/Sucidile

The places have changed and the names stay the same, the game overplayed and the face rearranged.

seize the backyard

I realize my hate was just propaganda

a fourth dimensional object with a three dimensional shadow

doers sayers movers and shakers
the house that jack rebuilt