I just saw my mistress for the last time. She told me “things are getting weird and we need some space.” I really cant stand that negative attitude, and I cant understand how any present love can be so considered insignificant to an absent one, how someone can seek something that doesn’t really exist. And actuality, its just a recursive spiral. If you want it, reach out and grab it now. Use your resource to cause the perfect life.
I guess she never really cared about anyone besides her self, maybe whom she was with but where she is feels so far away. The times we spent together is a collection of glass memories on her shelf now, catching the light in the afternoon with raspberry tea and Sinatra. I don’t care either; mines a cold room with only sealed, anonymously occupied voices.
What do I put my heart into? May I destroy the world? How many versions must I become before I may rest, before I realize what it takes to become, Have I Forgotten Who I Am, an Experiment? What will they do to keep me alive? How may I help? How much development must I endure before I start losing it all? Questions are burning issues, True escapes, honest product. Burning issues
I want to be remembered, to live comfortably, to find out whats really important, to never lose sight of my dreams, to do what Im told and learn from their mistakes, I want to become powerful, Recognizable, I want my words to be put to song. Im silencing my self, the one you know and cherish, for the sake, the sanity and the future. Im letting go of more.
When it comes to reincarnation, most people choose their own children. How boring! I don’t need the security of life to understand my personal planetary security. I can choose to be anything I want, it’s a matter of appreciating the movement now so I may appreciate my movement then. I am human because its now the most reasonable vent for planetary experience. When I am expired so too will the chance for a similar life on this planet. But these limbs that are good for moving things including ourselves, what good will they be when there is nothing left to move?
I am the king of contradiction, no one shall profess otherwise. Youre steering a little too close to the edge of the cliff to call me a reliable passenger. But don’t worry, that’s just future rides, Im certainly not apt to tuck and roll at a time like this. I have a hidden agenda, places to go without you. So Im glad you stayed, where your dead weight will have time to reflect, to blossom like a greasy flower beneath that melting sunbuttered toastball.
I miss you already. You always knew just what to say and why you shouldn’t have said it and I was never interested in your cold disposal. When your face comes up I force it to mutate and gargle salt water. You make me sick go to your room shut the door and shove several pairs of socks in the gap at the floor. Weve contemplated the end of the world since the beginning of time id never thought itd be so bangin.
You cant fool me, not thrice. There is no difference between us this early in the morning and late at night. How dare you imply leadership, authority, privilege. Im contagious baby and my stomach hurts cough cough. Ive become who I was thinking about and drawing 15 years ago, but the latters Ive climbed seemed shorter and sharper on the way up. Splinters got deep and tasted sweet to the touch. Im surrendering now to the patterns of scars, spelling my name, carved in the moment.
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